uncomfortably numb

It’s been a while since my city was hijacked and our armed forces flushed them out, but the numbness remained. I was so far away from all the terror but I was shuddering in the safety of my home as well.

Mumbaikars or Bombayiites as I call them gathered at the Gateway of India (that’s the gateway that brought in the terrorists too) to protest the lapse in the system and to ask questions.

There is a weird feeling deep inside and that feeling feels empty. It’s the longest time that I have felt like this. I’m usually someone who erases any disturbing memory and gets back to life with the usual zest. But this time is different, just like the attack was. I haven’t sketched a single design, haven’t painted any shoes, haven’t written anything or put my thoughts and anger to poetry. I tried but it wasn’t happening. That angered me some more and I’m still angry. Angry that we didn’t pay attention to the many warnings that were given, angry that politicians make senseless comments like ‘this was small accident and such things happen’. But the anger is just within and is festering.

It’s causing terrible uneasiness but there’s not much that I have done about it.

It’s soon going to be a month that I’ve zoned out. I return home feeling lost and dazed.

I just hope and pray that Christmas and the New Year brings in a new lease and direction to my mind.

To all those who haven’t survived the terror attacks and for those who did survive the terror this Christmas is dedicated to you.

Love and peace to all!

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